Yesterday marks 5 years of being married to my best friend, and the hottest guy I know.
We've been through good times and bad, and have an even better relationship than when we started; we're constantly growing together as a couple.
Some of our friends recently asked us how we are able to remain so deeply in love, and we told them that it has to do with selflessness (giving 200% of yourself regardless of what the other person is doing), and pursuit.
To gain the love and adoration of your spouse in the first place, you dated each other. It was all about the chase, getting them, getting to spend time together, getting to talk with each other, etc. If that stops, the whole relationship turns into little more than roomates. It's difficult to feel needed, desired, adored, if the extent of the marriage happens in front of the tv or divided up between kids/hobbies/work etc.
If you've stopped dating your spouse, you can start again now! It's never too late to start. Now that you're married, you've got more at stake than ever. Learn what makes your husband/wife feel loved (cleaning the house? saying "I love you"? little gifts? kisses etc?), and invest time in fufilling that.
Relationships take cultivation, and a loving, secure marriage relationship is awesome! I feel like the luckiest person I know, because I get to live with my best friend (with benefits!).
(Warning: the PG spot)
Speaking of which, who says that sex gets boring when you are sleeping with the same person for years? We have found that everything gets better as we grow closer. The more time we spend loving each other, the better time we have...well, having a good time. ;)
I love you, Greg. Thank you so much for always keeping up the chase.
PS. Two books that revolutionized our marriage, from the very start, are Gary Chapman's, "The Five Love Languages" (which, pretty much everyone should read, regardless of whether they're in a romantic relationship or not), and "The Act of Marriage", by Tim & Beverly LaHaye (I'll leave it up to you to figure out what the "Act" refers to).
The pictures are cute, that PG spot was okay, I don't really care. I think Grace will need therepy, but hey, that's cool too...
ReplyDeleteYou two were, and are, the most beautiful couple! Thanks for sharing your pictures once again. And thanks also for your advice. We agree wholeheartedly! If every couple could get together what you've said...well, how great that you came on it early in your lives. You are absolutely right...when the pursuit of each other, whatever that means to each individual, ends, you're done! You may just exist from that point on until you begin the pursuit once again.
ReplyDeleteI like to put it this way: You need to remain fascinated with each other...never think you've learned it all or figured them all out...make them your, "research project"!
Oh, and?...is the, "Act" like the second act in a play?...;-)
Hi Greg & Faith,
ReplyDeleteI saw your mom at Davis College last week and she forwarded your blog to me along with some photos of your kids. Glad to hear and see that you are doing well. I appreciate your comments about marriage. I like the photos from your wedding. Who took them? :-))) They look very familiar. God bless you.