I am the mother of two boys. I look forward to seeing Andrew and Elijah form a brotherly bond and face the world together as a team. Everyone kept asking me "well, are you hoping for a girl or a boy?". I could honestly answer that it would be fantastic to have either. A little girl would mean balancing the Household Gender Count, having a tiny person to dress in lace, or trendy, or "just like Mommy", and giving Andrew a sister would help him learn all about girls at home so that he can be a more well rounded fellow. A little boy would mean a playmate for Andrew, and I knew that if Andrew had a brother so close in age, they would both be thrilled to have a live-in friend, advocate, and partner-in-crime.
All in all, I must say, I am overjoyed to have Elijah. God gave our family the perfect gift when he chose to bless us with this new little guy. And now Greg and I get the challenge, the opportunity, the thrill, of raising two men! What a privilege, and what an awesome responsibility -- one we do not take lightly. Every day I ask God to make me the very best mother I can be to my children. I know that it's going to be very hard at times, and I may wonder in those moments, on those days, if I can possibly make it through. I know, however, that God has a vested interest in our success. These little guys belong to Him first, and He will ensure that we not only "make it", but that we excel in this career of parenting.
Two parents, four children, and our adventures in food, music and travel.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Ladies and Gentlemen....Elijah Cole Darling
So here he is! Stats as follows:
Born: June 8th @ 7:45am
Weight: 8lbs 14 oz
Length: 21 1/2"
Duration of labor: 5 hours
Duration of pushing phase: 5 min
More to follow......
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
In The Tank
NOTE: This post was written as dated, but when I was nearly through, Andrew began to freak out about taking a walk, so I had to save it to finish later. By the time I'd gotten home from our walk, I was pretty sure I was going to have the baby within the next 24 hours, and became distracted, so I never finished the post until now.
Frank is still firmly in the tank. As suggested by Sarah Kil, I had a long serious talk with Frank yesterday, but the general sentiment seems to be that the womb is the very greatest place to be.
Now, although I feel that I'll probably be pregnant forever, I must point out that babies DO come out. This fact is somewhat muddied by the fact that doctors often insist on inducing labor, but to what end?
I have one friend who went into the hospital, seemingly in labor on her due date, but then everything stopped, so they sent her home. Two weeks later, since there seemed to be no sign of things resuming, the doctor induced her, and about a day later of NOTHING (except the terrible pain of pitocin induced contractions), they had to perform an emergency C-section due to the stress the baby and mom were in.
Hannah (my sister) was just telling me about her friend, who had supposedly been in labor for two weeks, and the doctors finally induced her. She didn't deliver for 36 HOURS (this happened just two weeks ago). As it turns out, the girl wasn't in "true" labor at all in those two weeks, it was just the stop start crampy contractions that happen before the "real thing" starts. [I had similar experiences with pre-labor contractions during the same week, as did many other pregnant women I know in the area, which seems to be due to the full moon, which has a known effect on women's hormonal pull. My midwife had me take Epsom salt baths and also take the herb Valerian before bed (an herbal sleep aid), and I was able to sleep again.]
All of this inducing and such may sound hum-drum to you, and run-0f-the-mill stories that you've heard a million times, but let me tell you: this is not normal. If the life of the mother and/or baby is actually in danger, then there can be reason to induce. However, pitocin really sucks, doesn't always work, and there are much gentler, effective ways to bring on labor, some herbal, etc.
In the situations I described, the women's bodies were obviously not ready to give birth yet, and all the doctors were doing was getting in the way of the natural progression of things. Many times if labor is induced, the baby has certain problems, often respiratory, since the lungs are last to develop. Instead of causing multiple health problems for mother and baby, I strongly believe it's best to let the body go into labor naturally, no matter how long that may take. (Once again, to clarify, if the mother's or child's life is TRUELY in danger, than inducing may be the only option -- but that's a different story.)
Now, I don't want to go two weeks overdue. I don't want to be pregnant one more day. However, I am willing to let my body and the baby prepare fully for the huge undertaking of Labor. Who would run a marathon without first completing their training? Or if they do not train fully, expect to finish well? I want my baby to be sound and healthy, and I want my body to be completely prepared in every way. Labor is bad enough without adding impatience to wreak possible havoc on both my and my baby's health.
Frank is still firmly in the tank. As suggested by Sarah Kil, I had a long serious talk with Frank yesterday, but the general sentiment seems to be that the womb is the very greatest place to be.
Now, although I feel that I'll probably be pregnant forever, I must point out that babies DO come out. This fact is somewhat muddied by the fact that doctors often insist on inducing labor, but to what end?
I have one friend who went into the hospital, seemingly in labor on her due date, but then everything stopped, so they sent her home. Two weeks later, since there seemed to be no sign of things resuming, the doctor induced her, and about a day later of NOTHING (except the terrible pain of pitocin induced contractions), they had to perform an emergency C-section due to the stress the baby and mom were in.
Hannah (my sister) was just telling me about her friend, who had supposedly been in labor for two weeks, and the doctors finally induced her. She didn't deliver for 36 HOURS (this happened just two weeks ago). As it turns out, the girl wasn't in "true" labor at all in those two weeks, it was just the stop start crampy contractions that happen before the "real thing" starts. [I had similar experiences with pre-labor contractions during the same week, as did many other pregnant women I know in the area, which seems to be due to the full moon, which has a known effect on women's hormonal pull. My midwife had me take Epsom salt baths and also take the herb Valerian before bed (an herbal sleep aid), and I was able to sleep again.]
All of this inducing and such may sound hum-drum to you, and run-0f-the-mill stories that you've heard a million times, but let me tell you: this is not normal. If the life of the mother and/or baby is actually in danger, then there can be reason to induce. However, pitocin really sucks, doesn't always work, and there are much gentler, effective ways to bring on labor, some herbal, etc.
In the situations I described, the women's bodies were obviously not ready to give birth yet, and all the doctors were doing was getting in the way of the natural progression of things. Many times if labor is induced, the baby has certain problems, often respiratory, since the lungs are last to develop. Instead of causing multiple health problems for mother and baby, I strongly believe it's best to let the body go into labor naturally, no matter how long that may take. (Once again, to clarify, if the mother's or child's life is TRUELY in danger, than inducing may be the only option -- but that's a different story.)
Now, I don't want to go two weeks overdue. I don't want to be pregnant one more day. However, I am willing to let my body and the baby prepare fully for the huge undertaking of Labor. Who would run a marathon without first completing their training? Or if they do not train fully, expect to finish well? I want my baby to be sound and healthy, and I want my body to be completely prepared in every way. Labor is bad enough without adding impatience to wreak possible havoc on both my and my baby's health.
Monday, June 06, 2005
...listening list...
this week's list...
Christafari: Gravitational Dub
Rackets and Drapes: Love Letters From Hell
Tribe: Message to the Masses 1992-2004
Shaz Sparks: Shaz Sparks
Andy Hunter: Exodus
The Red Chord: Clients
Admonish: Den Yttersta Tiden
DBA: Twister
Death List: Severed
Sarah Masen: The Dreamlife of Angels
Days of the New: Red Album
Gerg
Christafari: Gravitational Dub
Rackets and Drapes: Love Letters From Hell
Tribe: Message to the Masses 1992-2004
Shaz Sparks: Shaz Sparks
Andy Hunter: Exodus
The Red Chord: Clients
Admonish: Den Yttersta Tiden
DBA: Twister
Death List: Severed
Sarah Masen: The Dreamlife of Angels
Days of the New: Red Album
Gerg
More Random Funny Stuff
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
"Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):"
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house about 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.
5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain bits of Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how many Jelly crystals you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jelly.
15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving and very expensive to remove.
18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20 minutes.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing thing.
25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid
Gerg
"Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):"
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house about 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.
5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain bits of Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how many Jelly crystals you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jelly.
15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving and very expensive to remove.
18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20 minutes.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing thing.
25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid
Gerg
Random Funny Stuff
Maybe you've seen this already. I found it and thought it was funny:
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you're not amused, you shoot him.
3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
4. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.
5. You change your underwear after every sneeze.
Gerg
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you're not amused, you shoot him.
3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
4. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.
5. You change your underwear after every sneeze.
Gerg
Armband
Two nights ago, Greg took Andrew to Syracuse to see a Monster Truck Rally, so I had a VERY quiet evening alone. While they were gone, I taught myself to knit (using the book Stitch 'N Bitch, which I highly reccomend for the fun/doable aspect), and then yesterday I completed my very first project: this armband. It's not perfect, but I have to say, it's not bad for my first thing! It was a lot of fun to make, but I don't think I'll ever wear it, so if anyone feels like they'd just love to have it, I'll mail it to you and you can have this little bit of history. =)
For those wondering:
My belly is still growing, baby is still active and sqirming, contractions are getting harder, no end in sight.
For those wondering:
My belly is still growing, baby is still active and sqirming, contractions are getting harder, no end in sight.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Just NEED to know?
The reactions I get, especially as I grow rapidly rounder, never cease to amaze me. Well, I should say, they amuse me, and shock Greg. (Yes, Greg can be shocked.) The scenario: I am out somewhere in public (walking outside, in a store, etc.), and someone will ask me "wow, so what are you having?".
Depending on the person (and what shape my hormones are in that day), I find myself occasionally saying "a baby, more than likely". However, if I choose to be polite (which is a choice that I'm afraid I don't always make), I respond with "We're waiting until the baby's born. I love surprises." The reaction from the younger women are almost always "are you kidding? You're not going to find out?! I HATE that!!", and from the older women, they look at me in surprise, then say, "Good for you! I never found out with my children either. That's the way it should be." I suppose that makes me old fashioned, but proudly so. The reason Greg is shocked at these reactions, is that
1) he feels that it takes a lot of balls to ask a question like that
2) what business do strangers have in our business anyway?
3) he can't understand why anyone would want to "find out" in the first place
Of course, I'm used to it, so I don't think any of those things, but I like to tell Greg about it because of his reaction. =)
The interesting thing to me is that women around my age tend to hold it against me that I'm not "finding out", which I could find offensive (though I don't), since I don't give anyone flack about finding out themselves. Anyway, I know several people now who were told that they were having girls, decorated, shopped and named accordingly, only to have the sudden shock at the end that the baby was simply being modest, and oops! It's a boy.
Besides the fact that I love surprises so much, there is another reason why it's so important for me, personally, to wait. I need something to look forward to. I love being pregnant. I love the roundness, the maternity clothes, the shameless flaunting of a hugeundous belly in a skimpy camisole. However, towards the end, the reality hits me: now I need to get this baby out. That SUCKS more than anything I can think of. I have never had such an intense, terribly painful experience/endurance test like labor and birth. Not everyone feels this way, but I felt like
A) I might possibly die,
B) I definitely wouldn't have any more children,
C) that it was crazy for ANYONE to have more than one child (or any at all!),
D) that (irrational as it may seem) I wanted my mom to make the pain go away.
Not knowing the gender adds to the suspense and excitement of the final moment, and I NEED to know that there's a heck of a treasure waiting for me at the end of all of this.
In the moments just before Andrew came out, I remember that suddenly someone said they could see his head. It was at that point that I remembered my goal, that my baby was in there, and needed to come out. With renewed energy, I pushed past the pain, and his head came out, followed by the rest of him. My aunt put him on my chest immediately, and someone said that he was a boy. I cannot describe the cascade of wonder/joy/excitement/relief/amazement/love that poured out of me, over us, in that second. We didn't even have a name for him yet.
I looked into his tiny, beautiful face and recognized him as my own baby. His miniature body changed from blue to pink as I kissed him and cuddled him, rubbing his back, talking to him, probably making no sense at all, but he was out, and he was mine. I felt like I never wanted to let him go, and all the maternal feelings that had been building in me during my pregnancy came to a huge, avalanching expression right then. It was a moment like none other, and one of the best moments of my life.
I don't hold it against anyone who "just has to know", or those who "have" to do it for the practical reasons of shopping in color code ahead of time. For me though, the waiting to find out his gender until he came out added to that "surprise package", and I would never want it to be any other way.
As I write this, I am dying with excitement to meet the little person inside me. What will they look like? What will their personality be? How much will they be like Andrew? Is this a girl or a boy? And then the all important question of the hour: when the heck will this person come out?! I do hope soon. I will keep you all posted.
Due in 6 days....
Depending on the person (and what shape my hormones are in that day), I find myself occasionally saying "a baby, more than likely". However, if I choose to be polite (which is a choice that I'm afraid I don't always make), I respond with "We're waiting until the baby's born. I love surprises." The reaction from the younger women are almost always "are you kidding? You're not going to find out?! I HATE that!!", and from the older women, they look at me in surprise, then say, "Good for you! I never found out with my children either. That's the way it should be." I suppose that makes me old fashioned, but proudly so. The reason Greg is shocked at these reactions, is that
1) he feels that it takes a lot of balls to ask a question like that
2) what business do strangers have in our business anyway?
3) he can't understand why anyone would want to "find out" in the first place
Of course, I'm used to it, so I don't think any of those things, but I like to tell Greg about it because of his reaction. =)
The interesting thing to me is that women around my age tend to hold it against me that I'm not "finding out", which I could find offensive (though I don't), since I don't give anyone flack about finding out themselves. Anyway, I know several people now who were told that they were having girls, decorated, shopped and named accordingly, only to have the sudden shock at the end that the baby was simply being modest, and oops! It's a boy.
Besides the fact that I love surprises so much, there is another reason why it's so important for me, personally, to wait. I need something to look forward to. I love being pregnant. I love the roundness, the maternity clothes, the shameless flaunting of a hugeundous belly in a skimpy camisole. However, towards the end, the reality hits me: now I need to get this baby out. That SUCKS more than anything I can think of. I have never had such an intense, terribly painful experience/endurance test like labor and birth. Not everyone feels this way, but I felt like
A) I might possibly die,
B) I definitely wouldn't have any more children,
C) that it was crazy for ANYONE to have more than one child (or any at all!),
D) that (irrational as it may seem) I wanted my mom to make the pain go away.
Not knowing the gender adds to the suspense and excitement of the final moment, and I NEED to know that there's a heck of a treasure waiting for me at the end of all of this.
In the moments just before Andrew came out, I remember that suddenly someone said they could see his head. It was at that point that I remembered my goal, that my baby was in there, and needed to come out. With renewed energy, I pushed past the pain, and his head came out, followed by the rest of him. My aunt put him on my chest immediately, and someone said that he was a boy. I cannot describe the cascade of wonder/joy/excitement/relief/amazement/love that poured out of me, over us, in that second. We didn't even have a name for him yet.
I looked into his tiny, beautiful face and recognized him as my own baby. His miniature body changed from blue to pink as I kissed him and cuddled him, rubbing his back, talking to him, probably making no sense at all, but he was out, and he was mine. I felt like I never wanted to let him go, and all the maternal feelings that had been building in me during my pregnancy came to a huge, avalanching expression right then. It was a moment like none other, and one of the best moments of my life.
I don't hold it against anyone who "just has to know", or those who "have" to do it for the practical reasons of shopping in color code ahead of time. For me though, the waiting to find out his gender until he came out added to that "surprise package", and I would never want it to be any other way.
As I write this, I am dying with excitement to meet the little person inside me. What will they look like? What will their personality be? How much will they be like Andrew? Is this a girl or a boy? And then the all important question of the hour: when the heck will this person come out?! I do hope soon. I will keep you all posted.
Due in 6 days....
And speaking of chocolate...
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to eat out?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my pay check.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that dress!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to eat out?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my pay check.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that dress!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Chocolate
Andrew's love for chocolate goes beyond the simple fact that it's sweet. I really almost never allow him to have it...my origional intention was to never let him have any until he was old enough to handle the caffine, but somehow it happened and he couldnt've been happier. A few weeks ago we were at a banquet of sorts, and I had on my plate a little slice of german chocolate cake, and a piece of strawberry shortcake. He got all excited about these selections, but since it was around 9pm, I offered him a bite of the shortcake. He got super pissed off at
me, because all that he wanted was the chocolate thing!
I now let him have a chocolate chip cookie on occasion if it's not too close to bedtime. The Andrew-style of eating this sort of cookie is to poke his little fingers into the molten chocolate chips, licking it off over and over, and ending up looking like the picture I've included with this post. He does end up eating the entire cookie, but he feels it's important to dig out all the chips first.
Greg does not understand the chocolate obsession, as he can't stand the stuff himself, but this experience with Andrew has caused me to wonder if the love for chocolate is simply inborn. Even though I adore good chocolate, I certainly didn't teach Andrew to love it, because I didn't even want him to know about it yet, so for him it couldn't be a learned thing. Makes you wonder....
me, because all that he wanted was the chocolate thing!
I now let him have a chocolate chip cookie on occasion if it's not too close to bedtime. The Andrew-style of eating this sort of cookie is to poke his little fingers into the molten chocolate chips, licking it off over and over, and ending up looking like the picture I've included with this post. He does end up eating the entire cookie, but he feels it's important to dig out all the chips first.
Greg does not understand the chocolate obsession, as he can't stand the stuff himself, but this experience with Andrew has caused me to wonder if the love for chocolate is simply inborn. Even though I adore good chocolate, I certainly didn't teach Andrew to love it, because I didn't even want him to know about it yet, so for him it couldn't be a learned thing. Makes you wonder....
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