Saturday, April 04, 2009

A year

Exactly one year ago today, Greg deployed. I had no frame of reference with which to face the time ahead, no way of knowing how hard it would be, or how well I would adapt, how painful and broken I'd feel, or how independent I would become.

Life experience, pain, and love has a way of shaping a person; of refining character, and showing in stark relief both God-given strength and my own human weakness. I am both more impatient and more long-suffering than I'd ever realized. I also care more about some things and care less about others. I've found that I can be unbelievably organized and well-prepared, though I still wistfully look back on the days when I could get by with all ends loose and flying in the wind.

In being alone, it seems that I have finally gotten to know myself, which has been a very interesting, enlightening, and sometimes not entirely pleasant, experience. I feel older, and I certainly hope that I'm at least a bit wiser.

The deployment has been shortened just a bit, so within the next two months, we should be together again (no solid dates for security purposes). Greg and I have lived an entire year of life experiences apart. It will be an adventure to become fitted together once again. I am excited and mildly anxious all at once. It will be good to be together at last.


a.susie said...

I can't really imagine dealing with that circumstance. It just seems too big. But I will say I have indeed seen growth in you this past year. I say that carefully, not intending it to sound as if I thought you needed to grow. I sense a "centering"...a balance that I can feel even from a distance. I don't wish upon anyone those difficult experiences that force us to grow at times, but the growth itself is a good thing. It's just easier to talk about in hindsight!

The Kansas City Hoovers said...

You are an increddible woman, wife, mother. Even though you may feel older, you still look young and beautiful! I'm glad that Greg will be home soon. I can only imagine the mixed emotions you must be going through. Keep your head up and hopes high. We're praying for you continuously.

Mom2Zoey said...

That was powerful. Yeah! I am so glad he is coming home safe and sound to you.

Anonymous said...

It's amazing what you can humanly endure when you have no choice but to rise to the occasion as you have done, Faith. You've had to be resilient and you are by the power of God.

I know what it's like to have my dad gone for two years to Vietnam with little to no contact back then. I know what it's like to have our son (Greg) on three deployments in Afghanistan and Iraq. But I don't know what it's like to have my husband at war. I don't know what it's like trying to manage every aspect of home life and tend to the needs of four children and be strong for them, when there are times when you feel like crawling into a ball and sobbing. You've survived! You've maintained your sense of humor when things get out of hand and made light of the absurdity it all.

I am so proud of how you've managed life as an Army wife. It's so awesome how you've started "meet-up" groups via the Internet everywhere you've moved. You've created mom's groups and knitting groups by introducing yourself online, and in some cases, even before you arrive at the destination. I think that's the greatest thing to make connections at every place you've been stationed. You've influenced a lot of women with your faith and your talent.

Also, I want to commend you on creating this blog and keeping up with it. I know it takes a lot of time and I appreciate the effort you put into it. What a blessing to be able to stay connected with all of you! Blogging and Skyping are our only tangible methods of staying in touch. It means so much for us to see pictures on a continual basis.

I can't wait for when you and Greg will be reunited and for the vacations you've planned to make up for all that lost family time. Faith, you deserve a medal of honor for all the time you've served! Praise God it's almost over.

You're the greatest!

I Love You,


Anonymous said...

i love you faith. through the years you have been such an inspiration to me, as well as many others i'm sure. your love for life and your family is never-ceasing, ever showing, and always growing. your strength and independence has obviously deepened, even more the last year, and i can't wait to see you and the kids again. i know throughout life, even when we're apart, you'll be an encouragement for me. i hope that life brings our families together again soon.

much love and hugs,